‘Am I going to be okay?’
I can unhesitatingly say this question is the one I have heard most frequently during the past twenty years.
For many people experiencing prescribed drug injury, it is asked again and again. It may be spoken aloud to a partner, friend, therapist, coach or support-group member. It may be typed into an online search late at night. Sometimes it is whispered inwardly during a frightening wave of symptoms.
Yet people are often told that they should stop seeking reassurance. As a cognitive behavioural trained therapist, I know why. It is viewed as safety behaviour, providing temporary relief but reinforcing the cycle of anxiety.
This is why our Bravehearts are told reassurance seeking intensifies anxiety, creates dependency or prevents them from learning to tolerate uncertainty. But when this concept is applied rigidly to prescribed drug injury, it can overlook the fact that the person is not experiencing an anxious thought pattern. The person is living through an intense state of physiological alarm.
When the Body Does Not Feel Safe
Prescribed drug injury can affect the nervous system in profound ways. A person may experience terror, agitation, inner restlessness, akathisia, intrusive thoughts, derealisation, depersonalisation, sensory sensitivity, insomnia, physical pain and many other distressing symptoms/signs of healing.
These experiences can create a powerful biological sense that something is terribly wrong.
The person may understand intellectually that symptoms can fluctuate and that healing is taking place yet be unable to feel that understanding in the moment. The body may be signalling danger so intensely that calm reasoning becomes difficult to access.
This is not due to a failure to use coping skills. It is not a sign that someone is refusing to take responsibility for their emotional wellbeing. The reality is that the nervous system is overwhelmed.
During these periods, reassurance can provide a temporary bridge between the person’s present experience of danger and a more grounded sense of safety.
When the ‘Healthy Adult’ Feels Temporarily Offline
In schema therapy, the term 'Healthy Adult' is sometimes used to describe the part of us that can think clearly, soothe distress, maintain perspective and respond with wisdom and compassion.
During intense withdrawal/ABIND/PAWS symptoms, this capacity may feel temporarily unavailable.
A frightened and vulnerable part of the person may come to the foreground. This part may feel helpless, abandoned or convinced that the suffering will never end. It may urgently need to hear:
‘You are going to be okay.'
‘This will pass.’
Receiving reassurance from a calm and trusted person can help to hold the perspective that the sufferer cannot yet hold alone. This does not have to mean creating unhealthy dependence. It can be a form of compassionate co-regulation during a period of extreme vulnerability.
Over time, the person may gradually begin to internalise these reassuring messages and use them to self-soothe.
Reassurance Is Not the Same as Certainty
Helpful reassurance does not require making promises that no one can honestly make.
It is understandable that someone in distress may want to hear, ‘You will definitely recover by this date,’ or, ‘This symptom cannot possibly mean anything serious.’ But reassurance should not involve dismissing new or concerning symptoms, discouraging appropriate medical attention/diagnostics or guaranteeing a particular outcome.
Compassionate reassurance can be truthful and grounded:
‘You are going through something extremely difficult, and you are doing your best.’
‘You have survived every wave that has come before this one.’
‘We cannot know exactly when this will ease, but the way you feel in this moment does not tell us how you will always feel.’
When Reassurance Becomes Repetitive
There may be times when a person asks the same question repeatedly but finds that reassurance brings relief for only a few seconds or minutes. The fear quickly returns, and they feel compelled to ask again.
This is a symptom. I have seen it time and again over the years. The person will actually say they know they are healing, but they need to hear it, and they will ask over and over again.
If this happens, alongside the reassurance you can offer other gentle forms of support. The aim is not to withdraw compassion but to help the person gradually widen their sources of safety.
Reassurance as a Bridge
A child who is frightened during a storm does not become safer because an adult refuses to comfort them. Through repeated experiences of being soothed, the child gradually learns that fear can be survived and that safety can return.
Adults also need co-regulation, especially during illness, trauma or physiological instability.
At times, another person’s calm presence helps the nervous system remember what safety feels like. Their words can temporarily lend stability, perspective and hope until the person can reconnect with these qualities for themselves.
This is why reassurance can be understood as a bridge rather than a weakness. It can help someone move from terror towards tolerability, from catastrophic certainty towards possibility, and from ‘I cannot survive this moment’ towards ‘Perhaps I can take one more breath.’
For Therapists, Coaches and Supporters
When someone repeatedly asks for reassurance, it can be helpful to become curious about what is happening beneath the question.
Are they asking for factual information?
Are they frightened by a new or worsening physical symptom that requires medical assessment?
Are they seeking emotional connection?
Are they in a wave of akathisia, terror, insomnia or nervous-system overwhelm?
Are they trying to borrow your steadiness because they cannot currently access their own?
The response should be guided by the person’s actual needs rather than by a blanket rule that reassurance must always be withheld.
Supporters can offer warmth while maintaining healthy boundaries. They can validate distress without claiming medical certainty. They can encourage appropriate professional care while also helping the person reconnect with their own inner resources.
The goal is not to make the sufferer feel ashamed of needing reassurance. Shame adds another layer of distress to an already overwhelmed system.
It Is Okay to Ask
There will come a time when you need less reassurance from others. You will begin to recognise familiar flares, remember that symptoms have shifted before, and find that your own compassionate voice becomes easier to hear.
But you do not have to force this before you are ready.
If today you need to ask, ‘Am I going to be okay?’ it is okay to ask.
It is okay to need someone to remind you that this moment is not the whole of your story.
It is okay to borrow hope.
It is okay to receive comfort.
And it is okay if you need to hear the same compassionate message more than once.
You are navigating an extraordinarily difficult healing process. Your need for reassurance is not something for which you should be blamed or shamed. Let reassurance be a coping tool while you heal and your sense of inner safety gradually returns.
With much compassion,
