Self-Kindness
This remarkable healing journey requires acceptance, patience, resilience, and deep self-kindness and compassion. For many, the path can feel overwhelming, filled with moments of doubt, frustration, and exhaustion. It is during these times that self-kindness becomes not just helpful but essential.
Self-kindness is the practice of treating yourself with the same understanding, patience, and care that you would offer to a dear friend. It means acknowledging that your struggles are real and that your pain is not a reflection of weakness but of your humanity. When healing feels slow or uncertain, it is easy to become self-critical and you judge yourself for not recovering fast enough or for having days where everything feels too difficult. But self-judgment only deepens suffering. With a sense of being beaten up by the unrelenting myriad of symptoms or signs of healing, it is important to not compound matters by beating yourself up too.
Self-kindness invites you to respond to your struggles with gentleness. It reminds you that healing is not a race, and your worth is not measured by how quickly you ‘get better.’ By replacing harsh self-talk with compassionate words, you create an inner environment that nurtures rather than depletes your strength and this helps tremendously with coping.
The Role of Self-Kindness in Healing
Self-kindness is often misunderstood as an indulgence, but in reality, it is a necessity – especially during the healing process. It is about making choices that support your well-being, both physically and emotionally. Self-kindness looks different for everyone, but at its core, it involves listening to your body and mind and responding with love.
Here are a few essential self-care practices to incorporate into your healing journey:
Rest Without Guilt – Your body and nervous system need time to repair. Allow yourself to rest when needed, without feeling guilty or unproductive.
Nourishment – Eating nutritious foods, staying hydrated, and avoiding triggers that may worsen symptoms can significantly impact your well-being.
Gentle Movement – If possible, engaging in light stretching, slow walks, or breath-focused exercises can support your body’s healing process.
Mindfulness – Practising mindfulness, deep breathing, or guided meditation can help calm an overactive nervous system and provide moments of peace.
Emotional Support – Connecting with understanding friends, support groups, or informed professionals can ease the sense of isolation that sometimes accompanies healing.
Limiting Stressors – Reducing exposure to stressful environments, unsupportive people and gaslighters, and overwhelming, irresponsible, sometimes false information, allows your system to recover more effectively.
Honoring Your Own Timeline – Healing is not linear. It does not always happen in a straight line. There can be flareups as well as easier times… waves and windows, and inevitably, significant progress and improvement in baseline. Trusting your body’s wisdom is one of the greatest acts of self-kindness.
Giving Yourself Permission to Heal
So often, people feel they must ‘push through’ their struggles, ignoring the need for self-care in the name of resilience. But true resilience is not about relentless endurance. It is about honoring your limits, knowing when to rest, and giving yourself the grace to heal at your own pace. It is okay to be proactive and even to challenge yourself at times, but never run on a broken leg. In my experience supporting others over the past 19 years, this is something that can result in a worsening of symptoms and other problems.
You are not failing because you need rest or to pace yourself and stay within your activity threshold. You are not weak because you have difficult days. You are not ‘behind’ in your healing because others seem to be recovering faster. You are on your own path, and the most powerful thing you can do is meet yourself with kindness every step of the way.
Let self-kindness be the foundation upon which your healing is built. Speak to yourself with gentleness, care for yourself as you would a dear friend, and trust that in time, your loyal, self-healing, resilient body and mind will find their way to the finishing line… to recovery. Healing always happens in an environment where there is tenderness and love, and these you can give to yourself… they must start with you. If you are able to nurture yourself with your own kindness and compassion, you are set for life. You won’t need to rely on anyone to fill a void. This is the best gift you can give to yourself.
Note: Dearest Friend is an excellent journal that can help you to develop your self-kindness and compassion practice. Please visit https://baylissa.com/books/ to learn more and get your copy.
With much compassion,
